I was cleaning my bookshelves, looking for the titles I am yet to read. Suddenly ‘AMEN- The Autobiography of a Nun’ by Sister Jesme literally dropped on my lap. I remembered it being a controversial book. Something about sharing her thirty years of experience as a nun. A book that the church wanted to be banned.
I picked it with high expectations. And by the end of two days of reading- I was left hugely disappointed.
The book, AMEN is a set of somewhat disoriented and disjointed chapters covering certain events and reporting by Sister Jesme. It details her life. It gives some examples and references of exploitation and suggestive sexual acts- but nothing explosive. There always been rumour of such acts in every religious setting. You get a feeling of being cheated and, in the process, discard whatever you are reading.
As expected, there are allegations from both sides. sister and the church. Biases and polarity. Exploitation and covering up. Mental and physical bonding. Sexuality and chastity.
Moreover, sister Jasme wants to be seen as a victim. She wants to come out unscathed from the adventure of narrating her life. So much so that you do not even feel disturbed by the things she has written at the end.
There are power games, and that is expected. There is rivalry and power struggle among people who are expected to above such feelings. And that is okay and accepted.
The only area where Sister Jasme markS it up is the reference to homosexuality and affairs between people who have taken the oath of chastity, who are wedded to Jesus and who manage the church. She is forced into a lesbian act with a fellow sister and exposes herself to a priest.
The only thing that makes you read further is the controversial nature of the subject and the controversy about the book. You give it the benefit of the doubt, expecting the next page to reveal what was so damming about it. But, unfortunately, that never comes.
Maybe I am biased as my expectations were different. I was looking forward to reading something like ‘Godman to Tycoon- the untold story of baba ramdev‘. ”AMEN’ did not live to all the euphoria about the book or the subject. Maybe as pointed out by some, there are no timelines, no real names, nothing which can make it as sensational as I expected it to be—a letdown
NOTE: In 2019, December Kerala High Court dismissed a petition demanding banning Sister Lucy Kalappura’s autobiography, Karthaavinte Naamathil (In the name of God), exposing clergy. Seems like one successful exposing autobiography followed by another damaging account. I don’t plan to pick it after much disappointing reading of AMEN.
blog/019/2021/book/007
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