The key to a more prosperous, fulfilled life is the person’s willingness to feel uncomfortable for just five minutes or the initial moments. The fear of looking foolish often stops us from pursuing our goals, taking risks, acknowledging the unknown, opening up to new learning, accepting a contrarian point of view or mending relationships. Unfortunately, we all live such a life that we fail to recognise that the momentary discomfort of looking foolish in other’s eyes is nothing compared to the long-term suffering of missed opportunities and unresolved regrets.
The core of human behaviour is driven by a desire to survive while avoiding pain and seeking pleasure. However, in addition to the physical pain, we also understand and realise possible pain caused due to embarrassment, the sting of rejection, or the discomfort of stepping into the unknown. The truth is- typically awkwardness doesn’t last, but the cost of inaction can haunt for a lifetime.
The Fear of Feeling Foolish: A Universal Fear
Here are some examples from real life.
You avoid apologising to a friend or family member because it feels humiliating to admit you were wrong. Over time, the relationship grows distant, leaving both parties in silent regret. It happens.
You hesitate to pitch your business idea at a meeting, thinking it might sound silly. Years later, you see someone else thrive with a similar concept and wonder, What if?
You choose not to ask someone you admire for advice or mentorship, afraid they’ll dismiss you. And yet, the opportunity for growth slips away simply because you feared looking inexperienced.
Sound familiar? These common fears stem from our instinctive desire to protect our self-image. But here’s the twist: people often forget your moment of awkwardness far quicker than you do. When you leverage the results from such awkward moments, they become just a blip.
Five Minutes of Discomfort vs. Years of Regret
Research shows that feelings of embarrassment or social awkwardness are short-lived. The discomfort of making a mistake or looking foolish rarely sticks with others as much as it does with ourselves. Psychologists term this the “spotlight effect,” the idea that we overestimate how much people notice or remember our moments of awkwardness.
Take public speaking as an example. A study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology revealed that speakers often believe their mistakes are glaringly obvious. Still, audiences typically remember the key points and overall message, not the minor fumbles. Public speaking is inherently imperfect, and you should be willing to embrace imperfection, not deeply obsessed with the results and try doing your best.
What is the cost of avoiding these moments? Lost relationships, unfulfilled dreams, and a stunted sense of personal growth. In contrast, five minutes of discomfort—admitting a fault, pitching an idea, or facing rejection—can open the door to deeper connections, opportunities, and lifelong learning.
Procrastination: The Silent Killer of Progress
Procrastination often finds its roots in the fear of looking foolish. We delay starting that art class, applying for that dream job, or even learning a new language because we dread being seen as amateurs. However, those who succeed recognise that expertise is only achieved by embracing the awkward learning phase. There is always that first step to take. And that will invariably be awkward. Perfection or rear perfection results from managing multiple awkward moments of looking foolish while preparing and practising for it.
Take Thomas Edison, who famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Were all those awkward moments worth it? Imagine if Edison had been deterred by the idea of looking foolish after his first failed experiment. The world might still be in darkness.
Real-Life Stories of Overcoming Fear
Consider Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, she endured awkward and uncomfortable moments while pitching her ideas to skeptical investors. But, by going through those moments, she finally built a billion-dollar empire. She was willing to learn and fail publicly: “Embrace failure. Look foolish. That’s where innovation is born.”
Similarly, J.K. Rowling faced multiple rejections before a publisher finally took a chance on Harry Potter. Each rejection could have been a moment of retreat, awkwardness and looking foolish, but her willingness to endure discomfort paid off in global success.
Actionable Steps: Embrace the Awkward of being foolish and Take the Leap
So, overcome this fear of looking foolish and start living fully? Daar Ke Aagey Jeet Hai. Here are a few thoughts that can help you in the process.
Reframe the Fear: Instead of focusing on the embarrassment, focus on the growth. Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen? And What’s the best possible outcome?
Start Small: Build your resilience to discomfort by taking small risks daily. Strike up a conversation with a stranger, share an idea in a meeting, or try a new skill in front of others. As I write, I, a man with two left feet, have taken the initial steps towards trying to dance! Something I wanted to do- but the awkwardness and possible embarrassment has always held me back.
Seek Feedback: Actively seek constructive criticism. Not only does this help you improve, but it also normalises the learning process publicly.
Celebrate Failure: Redefine failure as part of the journey. The more you expose yourself to moments of awkwardness, the more you realise they are stepping stones, not roadblocks.
Commit to Lifelong Learning: Recognize that mastery in any field requires embracing the beginner’s mindset. This willingness to learn, stumble, and grow is the hallmark of lifelong learners.
NET NET: The Transformative Power of being Foolish for a few moments.
Life is too short to let the fear of brief embarrassment hold you back. As the quote goes, “One of the great mistakes in life is suffering for years because you didn’t want to feel foolish for five minutes.” Every outstanding achievement, every fulfilling relationship, and every breakthrough begins with a small act of courage—an apology, a question, or a bold idea. Embrace the discomfort, and you’ll find that the rewards far outweigh the risks.
Remember, the sting of foolishness is temporary, but the regret of inaction can last a lifetime. Choose growth, take the leap, and make those five awkward minutes the best investment in your future.
Twenty-five such thoughts are detailed in my book- 25 RULES OF LIFE I WISH I KNEW EARLIER. You can buy the book here.
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