They say Mumbai is a city of dreams. But if you were to squint hard between the signal-jumping rickshaws, spit-streaked walls, and someone triple-riding on a scooter with a dog in his lap, you’ll realise we’re living a ticking bomb every moment of our lives.
We often hear that Mumbai should become a fine city. Polished, world-class, clean, disciplined. But perhaps we’ve misunderstood the word. Maybe it’s time to lean into the other definition of “fine”, the one that comes with a receipt, a government seal, and money deducted from your dignity.
We all know that Mumbaikars don’t understand SAAM (logic) and DAAM (reward)- which, anyway, have failed to show results. Try explaining civic sense and they’ll blink at you like you asked them to solve quantum physics in Marathi. Offer incentives, and they’ll game the system like it’s a Diwali sale.
So we’re left with DAAND (punishment) and BHEDH (differentiation).
Welcome to Mumbai: India’s First ‘Fine’ City
If we genuinely want order, we have no other option but to introduce fines like seasoning, spiked and sprinkled generously over every misdeed. However, you may need to strike a balance so that citizens do not collude with the enforcers, and we do not inadvertently exacerbate corruption and bribery. And they must be steep enough to enforce compliance through fear.
Here’s a modest proposal:
- Fine for throwing garbage from your car window.
Double it if it hits a pedestrian. Triple it if the pedestrian picks it up and throws it back. - Fine for honking needlessly.
An extra if you honk during a red light like it’s a dragon you’re trying to wake up. - Fine for parking like you’re solving a Rubik’s Cube.
Sideways, slantwise, one tyre on the footpath? Bhaiya, pay up. - Fine for lane indiscipline.
Add extra if you change three lanes in four seconds while on a phone call. - Fine for smoking in public spaces.
Cigarette in one hand, helmet in the other, but brain missing? That’s a premium fine. - Fine for spitting on walls.
Make it double if you aimed like it was Olympic javelin on an untainted wall. - Fine for slowing down near an accident site to film it.
Also eligible for one free slap from a traffic warden.
Fining is a Civic Art — And We Need a Ruthless Artist
Of course, any fine is only as good as its recovery system. And here’s where the Mercy-Free Mumbai Municipal Penalty Recovery Squad comes in.
There are No more polite reminders.
No more SMSs that sound like apologies.
No “click here to pay when convenient” links.
We need Fast-Tag-based auto-dedication, agents with QR scanners, and traffic cams that never sleep. Let your aadhaar-linked payment system determine your civic karma.
Miss three fines and your Swiggy orders arrive with a traffic cop.
Miss five, and your Instagram account gets auto-flagged as “anti-social”.
NET NET- The Bottom Line:
Does Mumbai want to be a fine city?
Then we must be fine with the fine.
Stop whining and start wallet-ing.
After all, if we can pay a bomb for coffee that we never finish, surely we can spare it for a habit we never should have started.
So let’s do this. Let’s fine our way to greatness.
Because if DAAND is the only language Mumbaikars understand, then by all means — let’s speak it fluently.
And hey, at least it’ll be the first time we make headlines not for flooding or failing bridges… but for discipline.
Now that’s what you call civic sense, at a decent rate.
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Above article first appeared in MXMINDIA.COM on 26th Nov 2025
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