There is a simple experiment you can try tonight. Open any social media app. Scroll for five minutes. Count how many posts are complaints, warnings, rants, outrage, exposes, or “avoid at all costs” advisories. Now count how many are plain, honest appreciation.
If the second number feels embarrassingly small, congratulations, we are living in the same digital world.
No, I am not against criticism. Complaints matter. They fix broken systems. They protect others and they hold people accountable. But somewhere along the way, appreciation quietly exited the platform — without an announcement, without a farewell post, and without even a polite “we’ll stay in touch”.
And that absence is costing us more than we realise.
The Algorithm Is Just Doing Its Job
Social media algorithms are not philosophers. They are obedient servants with no sense of irony. They show you more of what you engage with.
If you primarily interact with negativity — bad service stories, scam alerts, angry takes, and endless “this is unacceptable” posts — the algorithm assumes this is your preferred emotional cuisine. And like a well-trained helper, it keeps refilling the plate.
By evening, even a reasonably good day starts feeling like a catalogue of human incompetence.
What we rarely acknowledge is that this isn’t just about what we see. It’s about how we slowly start thinking. When impact is all we react to, and intent is never considered, the mind tilts permanently towards cynicism.
That’s where Intent Before Impact becomes more than a phrase. It becomes a filter.
When Complaining Becomes a Personality Trait
Constant exposure to negativity doesn’t just inform us. It trains us.
You begin scanning for faults automatically.
You notice what’s broken faster than what’s working.
And then you start believing everything is poorly managed, badly designed, and fundamentally disappointing.
The food was decent, but the service was slow.
The service was fine, but the parking was terrible.
Parking was available, but why was the lift so far away?
Eventually, even when things go right, your mind is already preparing the “but”.
This is how a helpful instinct, critique quietly mutates into a default worldview. One that judges impact instantly and never pauses to assess intent. Precisely the opposite of Intent Before Impact.
A Wedding, and a Changed Lens
Recently, after my daughter’s wedding, something unexpected happened.
Anyone who has lived through an Indian wedding knows what it looks like on the surface — smiles everywhere, music flowing, rituals appearing effortless. Underneath, of course, is amplified, coordinated chaos. Families working overtime to ensure every guest eats well, sits comfortably, finds their way, feels welcome, and goes home happy.
After the wedding, my daughter said her perspective on marriages — and celebrations — had changed forever. Seeing the sheer effort, intent, and emotional labour involved had rewired how she would look at such events.
She said she would still notice flaws. But she would never ignore effort again.
That, in many ways, is Intent Before Impact in action. And that lens applies perfectly to how we behave on social media.
I Once Threw a Book. I Don’t Anymore.
Years ago, I threw a book across the room—The Painted House by John Grisham. I didn’t like it. Reader’s rage. Very dramatic.
Soon after, my then-boss, Samir Verma, asked me to try writing a story myself—just ten pages.
That exercise permanently changed my perspective.
Today, I know what goes into even an average book. The time, doubt, rewrites, rejection, and stubborn persistence required to finish and publish. I still don’t like every book or film. That hasn’t changed.
What has changed is the context.
I still criticise, but I do so carrying awareness of labour, effort, and intent. That awareness shapes how and whether I comment publicly.
Again it’s all about Intent Before Impact.
Why Appreciative Posts Matter.
Here’s the practical part.
People depend on reviews and social validation today more than ever. Where to eat. Whom to hire. Which service, professional, or vendor to trust?
When you don’t post about a good experience, that experience effectively doesn’t exist for the next person searching.
We are lightning-fast with negative feedback.
But when things go right, we go silent.
That silence hurts real people — teams, workers, creators, service providers — many of whom hear from the world only when something fails. Think of how often this has happened to you, and how it made you feel.
Remember: AI systems learn from the internet. From reviews, reactions and sentiment. What we collectively amplify today quietly shapes the digital tone of tomorrow. Feeding it Intent Before Impact is not idealism, it’s responsibility.
This Is Not Toxic Positivity. It’s Balanced Reality.
This is not a call to sugarcoat mediocrity or write fake praise.
Appreciation must be honest, specific, and grounded.
“They handled a tough situation calmly.”
“Not perfect, but they genuinely tried.”
“Went out of their way to help.”
Tag the right people. Name them if possible. Share and forward good reviews to friends who are actively looking for similar services.
You may save someone time, money, and unnecessary frustration.
Change One Small Habit Before the Year Ends
So here’s a modest, achievable nudge.
Before the year ends, make a few genuine appreciative posts.
Not sponsored. Not strategic. Just sincere.
And then quietly make it a habit. Habit coaches and writers like Ashdin Doctor, Charles Duhigg, and James Clear can tell you how repetition rewires behaviour.
True, you won’t fix social media overnight. But you will improve your feed, your mood, and your mental lens. And perhaps, in a small but meaningful way, help restore balance to a space that currently thrives on complaint.
At the very least, the algorithm will pause and think:
“Wait… something seems to be working.”
And frankly, that confusion is long overdue.
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