‘Lady, You’re not a man’ goes with a misguiding subscript- The adventures of a woman at work- by Apurva Purohit. In the words of the author- who also blogs at what else but ‘Womanatwork.co.in’ – ‘it is It is a fun look at the travails a working woman faces as she scurries around managing home and work and her efforts in trying to balance bosses and in laws, husbands and trainees’
Anyway- I read this book in my stretch and that is a bit long. Most of the woman balancing work at office and home would relate to all what is there in the book- the stories- and anecdotes- the comments and the conversations.
Though you do have the book divided in three part- ACCEPT- ADAPT and ACHIEVE- with every chapter having an attempting gurumantra of the day for the corporate life ( Did Apurva think that it will be read a chapter a day!) and a Psst… ‘the secretive by the side advice to the one not getting it right or still wanting to experiment a bit more’
It’s more than just a nice book. There is a lot to take for the working woman and here I must say- what is taken out really depends on the reader. So, I picked this on way to Delhi and on return leg picked 4 more copies of the book- as I did find it relevant and interesting for woman dominated team of mine. Even though I have had mostly led woman dominated team since 1994 and I truly believe that they are better teammates and work that much harder- AND I THOUGHT I WAS MANAGING THEM WELL ENOUGH- suddenly the book places doubt in my ability- is it the other way AM I BEING MANAGED BY THEM
The sections are well built- but somehow I enjoyed more the first section titled ACCEPANCE and least the last section ‘ACHIEVE’. In between the 3rd section ’ADAPT’ just happened by.
The first section ends with 10 lessons of acceptance
- I accept my femininity
- I accept that I will feel guilty
- I accept that life is unfair- not only to women but to man too
- I accept I can multitask and thus will end up doing more work
- I accept that being a masochistic suffered I simply not cool
- I accept that I have to wait patiently to take over the world
- I accept that man cannot bear children
- I accept I will improve with age
- I accept that everyone need not be size zero
- I accept I can be my worst enemy
And similarly you have 10 lessons at eth end of Adapt and Achieve sections too.
She does keep it humorous and level; headed for most of the time. And then there is at times it lacks originality but then she makes it up with the simplicity of narration and an understated humour ‘ The fact is that when it comes to baby making- as the primary manufacturer , so as to speak- the responsibility of creation shifts to the woman completely. The husband is at best an OEM (original equipment manufacturer) in the entire process, an individual parts supplier, It is now that, for the first time, woman who have been in equal partnership marriage find that they have to carry the heavier load. It can come as quite a shock, and can lead to all kinds of justifiable and no so justifiable resentment issues’ ( P43) or again later on while advising ‘However hardworking and clever you are, if you try and juggle All the balls that are thrown at you, some of them will definitely fall down and break. You simply have to learn to let go of some of the dispensable stuff and be content with doing only a few things at a time, and doing them really well in order to attain results’
One of the chapters that I really found interesting and which is what is really making me suspect a lot many things is ‘HUSBANDS TRAINNED HERE- Creative a supportive spouse’. And when there is a chapter which talks of ‘Your male subordinates are wired differently’ somehow I could sense that you could even read it differently by just replacing subordinates with seniors.
There were few reasons for me to pick this book and reasons or not I RECOMMEND THIS AS A GOOD READ. Well done Apurva.
- It was in top 30 of the Indian Non-fiction list
- I have been an admirer of Apurva as she has taking the radio station to a new height
- And It was written by an IIM Graduate- so what if she is from IIM Bangalore and I from IIMA (we drop these city afflation and take on an PAN IIM approach at such situations)
- I have been handling primarily women dominated teams since 1994
- I has just been through few books by ‘Devdutt Patinaik’ and needed a break
More than anything else the title of the book pulled me . I was hesitant when the cover screamed ‘A must-read for every woman who wants to succeed on her terms, inspiring and funny’. But I think Nitin Paranjpe got it bang on when he said ‘This book will give the women the confidence to believe in themselves and succeed. A definite read and not just for women”.
I was proved right when at the late end on page 166 she acknowledges the male readers with ‘And all the guys who are ( hopefully) reading this, my message to you is; throw away those leather jackets and the knuckle busters and erase those tattoos. Trim your hair short and get rid of all that facial fuzz, bathe and shave every day. And definitely listen to your mother. For, it is a fact that the good boys will always finish first’
‘LADY YOU’RE NOT A MAN !’ by APURVA PUROHIT. Published by RUPA. INR 195 PAGES 184
