‘You would die to enjoy our services’, ‘We will Bury you cheaper and deeper’, ‘6 Feet apart is better than 6 Feet under’, ‘Drop in when you drop dead’, and ‘Grave problems resurrected here’ are some of the whacky banners I remember outside Danny Michael’s Funeral service Mahim, Mumbai advertising last rites / funeral services. Danny Pinto proudly lives the legacy of a century of service and promises real funeral directors, embalmers, export of remains, hearse, morgue, portable morgue and ambulance services. He is considered the best in the business with a clientele that includes Rajiv Gandhi and Mother Teressa. He also handled bodies from the 26/11 attack and train blasts. However, he does not have a pre-order filled out with client requests.
People dread talking about death, and that is Okay as surviving is the essential first instinct. However, I have always wondered why there are no funeral / last rites / Last journey or Atim Sanskar services advertisements. It is not a banned subject. And we even hesitate to use death as a lever in advertising- including Insurance advertising.
Changing Times With Last Rites
Atim Sanskar, the last journey, is an integral part of life. It is one of the 16 prominent Sanskars in Hindus, without which Moksha is impossible. Yet, very few think about death and last rites, and rarely does someone plan for it. Frankly, it could be complicated and, at times, a costly affair.
Unfortunately, death is a grey area for us, and so are the processes, rituals and practices. I have experienced doubts and a lack of knowledge, leading to debates, discussions and complications to the extent of damaging social relations.
A few things about the last rites and funerals have changed. One stark change is the time people now devote to the last rites. Sometimes, it is simply a journey in an ambulance from the hospital to the cremation grounds. People do the Chautha (4th day) instead of the traditional Gyahravi (11th day) or the Tehravi (13th day) rituals and shudikaran (cleansing). Many are doing the Chmayi (six-month ritual) instead of the Barsi (after a year) shudhikaran rituals. A few enterprising senior citizens and people living alone are planning their last rites and dictating a plan and the required funds. Many such people are doing their Atm Shradh, unsure if the next generation will follow the proper rituals or if they have no one after them to do it for them. The industry servicing last rites and Antim sanskar is also changing.
Everything said and done, I am yet to see a funeral director or the karamkandi pandit asking for a satisfaction score or net-promotion score, or for a reference or asking the relatives to give them another chance to serve you better. Yet, you have someone in the family or social circle coming up with the references and contact details. These services work more on word-of-mouth recommendation.
Last Rite Services.
It is a different, tough category – as it deals with the ultimate truth – death. It is a sensitive but essential service that helps ease the family’s farewell processes. Marketing/advertising such services need a balance of promises, claims and emotions with a touch of empathy and desired professionalism.
Everyone wants the last journey of the loved one to be handled with care and respect. The family is concerned about following the rituals and practices. Unfortunately, not many in the family know the rituals in totality. Moreover, there are subtle regional variations and expectations. The same community in different zones adapt to local practices, which more often leads to confusion. I have attempted to share information on the rituals and processes of a particular community under my project #IgnorantHindu.
There is a lot of trust involved in the service. The neighbours step in to provide the details of the karamkandi pandit. The hospital spot boy often gives the first advice and reference, including the contact numbers for the refrigerated beds to keep the body. The pandit then directs towards the shop from where everything can be arranged. However, the needed information and details keep coming in bits and pieces.
ALL-in-One Service.
However, that is changing. Nowadays, the karamkandi pandits offer a package including pre-cremation rites at home, cremation, the scripture (Gita or Garur Puran) reading, dispersing of ashes, the 11th or 13th-day ritual, advice on timing and what to speak in shok sabha (memorial service) and even the annual Barsi (year-end feast). They even have a printed list of things needed at every stage.
Though it may not matter to the departed soul, the family members desire the best services, sometimes calling for personalisation, including unique memorial services, themed ceremonies, and tailored funeral arrangements. This works well with families wanting a more personalised, dignified and remembered farewell. However, these dramatic changes are not that visible in the Hindu antim sanskar. Nowadays, one even sees cremation and last rites photography, which was typically unacceptable. I’m unsure if that results from the desire to share every moment of life on social media.
Digital Helps The Last Rites Services.
Advertising for last-rite services is challenging. However, last-rite service providers are bridging the gap with a relatively strong online presence. Their websites provide all the information, including services, pricing, and even the company’s ethos! Non-profit organisations are helping with various items, and the details can easily be searched online.
Some of these companies use Social media platforms to share testimonials and educational content on grief support to engage their current and potential clients in a more informal and supportive manner.
These last-rite experts and funeral service directors position themselves as knowledgeable resources with the credibility of orchestrating so many journeys. And honestly speaking, in such a situation, the family just follows whatever is asked for.
Today, you can surf and buy the required items or get to know the contact details of the Priest, Maulavi or Karamkandi Pandit and even negotiate a package for the services. Earlier, there was hardly any transparency in cost. The ritual fee changed as per affordability. The families were emotionally restricted from negotiating, discussing or disputing. They would end up paying whatever was asked in an emotionally challenging moment.
For distant relatives, live streaming is part of the process. If there is no one to perform the rites, there are people willing to do it, including cremation.
The most often used and well-known services in Mumbai are Antim Sanskar Seva– for Hindus. Britto Undertakers and Danny Michael Pinto. Your town would also have such services.
Last Journey Needs Education.
Last rites, rituals, and processes differ across religions, regions, sects, and castes. People adopt changes when they migrate to a new location. There is no single source for information on last-rite rituals; it is passed from generation to generation more from observation than knowledge sharing. There is a need for Community-level education on last-journey planning, grief support, and end-of-life decisions.
The new generation does not take anything for granted, and no one is prepared for such moments in the family. Maybe communities should organise workshops, webinars, and seminars on will preparation, the importance and purpose of ‘Living Will’, the importance of pre-planning last journey and the psychological aspects of grief. #IgnorantHindu is one such project that tries to share some information on such subjects.
NETNET.
Well, you can leave it to chance and to the family. Or you can be involved in it by planning your last journey and sharing the plan with the family. You may not want to do some of the rituals or want it differently. You can even sign a deal and provide the funds for the last rites and rituals.
One person I know wanted children in the orphanage to be given bhog (food) instead of the pandits. One wanted to do a quick electric cremation instead of burning wood. Then there was a case where the family went overboard with all the rituals in the case of the person who himself did not believe in it. So, why take chances?
Think about it. Plan about it. And maybe start with doing the aatm shradh and writing the WILL and the LIVING WILL.
POSTSCRIPT: Surprisingly, no award-hungry agency has done work in this space.
ADD ON: Indian advertising has rarely used death as a lever, including in insurance ads. Here is #IgnormatHindu sharing information on Yamraj, the last journey and Aatm Shradh.
Blog/066/2023 To connect, send an email, join on Twitter S_kotnala or subscribe to the weekly update.
