I think it is the right time to talk about the subject. Right at the start, you are euphorically welcoming the new year in your life, fully knowing that it could be full of uncertainties. So, when you read something like ‘What You Become is Up to You’, I expect you to react in one of the two ways. Either, you like it because you are part of the minority who have some achievement in life and for whom things are working out the way they want them. Or, you hate it. You want to shout and tell the world; the author knows shit about life. That, we all are but puppets in the hands of circumstances. There is always a lack of resources. Everything in life is not in your control.
Either way, you are partially right or wrong, depending upon your attitude towards life. And that gets primarily defined by the realised gap between expectations and experience across life.
YOU JUST ADDED ANOTHER YEAR.
Another year has gone by. New year wishes have stopped hitting the inbox. You are yet to self-audit the year, so you are unaware of the areas you have gained and lost in. Most likely, your priorities have changed, and your perspective on things and approach to life have been affected.
Life on Dec 31, 2020, was quite different from life on Dec 31, 2021, and it will be different on Dec 31, 2022, and every year. Change is real. The experience is real, and the polarised demand on emotions, resources, and time is a reality. And the demands on life and resources are genuine. However, perception is stronger than reality. And you, like anyone else, continue to live in a world where perception is stronger than reality.
RESOLUTIONS DON’T WORK.
Resolutions are mere Wishlist unless packed with a persistent desire, motivated outcome and a solid plan. So, if you have made any resolutions of taking up or leaving or exploiting or experiencing something this year, forget it. As you read this, it is already 5th day of the new year, and many resolutions have lost the battle that never started. Most resolutions will commit suicide in the first ten days, and they have a short life anyway.
Most people will accept the situation. They have been doing so for the last many years. What could they have done? The circumstances were not conducive enough, and there was no motivation. Pointing fingers and blaming your misguided helplessness is so easy. You reach Nirvana- no alternative- no problem.
It will not be wrong to presume that we move on without even analysing the cause of our failure. I understand, there were other things to do. By shifting focus, we leisurely escape from questioning our failure.
THE REASONS BEHIND FAILURE.
Most likely, the truth is that you never intended to achieve what you so proudly wrote as your resolution. You had a list and most likely tried to do too many things, with no plan to achieve them. You were overdependent on your ever fragile willpower and a prisoner of your bloated ego. You started with doubt without ever understanding the real potential. And you were not overtly dissatisfied with the status-co. You had no reason to stretch to achieve what you said- at least in this life.
So, in the last 365 days, you did nothing substantial to propel your career or redefine the life you were leading. You did not change. You avoided getting into focus and failed to scrutinise your movements and actions. You never celebrated the small successes. You never analysed the cause of the failure or penalised yourself for the outcome but inaction. There was always the next year or another important work to do. You forgot once again that your first responsibility and accountability is to yourself and your success, your life.
You always found yourself at crossroads and took the easiest, most comfortable path. The one that you knew something about it. You did not dare to stretch and explore the path you never knew of. In reality, you never had the guts to go All-in. You never burnt your boats.
POST RATIONALISATION WITH TIME.
After the euphoric high of the new year resolutions, with every sunrise, the task started looking daunting. Small failures started getting accumulated, and you had more answers and understanding of WHY NOT than of HOW.
You accepted every one of the excuses and easily post rationalised to yourself. You are convinced they are true because you created them.
In reality, they were just a barrier—a lock without a key. You knew the key exists. And if you tried for long enough, you will find the key. But, you took the easy path, and that’s human nature. In the process- you continue to be branded by Default.
IS THERE A SOLUTION?
Even though it works, I will not talk about the secret and visualisation. The solution is easy if you first prioritise and only work on one or two primary objectives for the year. See, I refuse to call them New Year Resolution.
Then only work on them. You will succeed if you believe it was possible with a bit of stretch. And for that to happen, use the 5WH model. Relax, think through and answer What, Why, When, Where and How of the objective and the process. Once you know the detail, chances are it is no longer part of a Wishlist. But, it is now a project backed by a plan.
IMAGINE THE END.
To help yourself, visualise a no barrier path to the outcome. What life would be if you could do it? What will be the feeling? And as you are only thinking of something- visualising it- make it big. You only realise what you dream of- so why not dream big.
BREAK IT DOWN INTO MANAGEABLE STEPS.
Define and select the path you will take to achieve the objective. Don’t be bogged down with the ultimate result. Fix milestones and timelines. Make them micro, make them manageable. Reward yourself at every small success and penalise yourself only for inaction.
Attack the objective as if your life depended on it.
Find the challenges you need to overcome to actualise the objective. Acquire skill set and resources to make it happen. Do something. Don’t merely dream and think of strategies. Act.
ALWAYS REVIEW-RETHINK-REVISE IN LIFE.
Here is the final ask. And it may be the Golden key- the difference between success and failure. Before you close the day and go to sleep, give yourself five minutes of peace to think of your day.
Answer simple five questions concerning the objectives.
Did you think of your final objective during your waking hours, or you were busy tackling other elements of life?
Did you take any positive action to achieve the objective?
What could have you done better?
What has been your learning of the day?
What will you do differently tomorrow?
IT IS OKAY NOT TO HAVE THE ANSWERS.
If the challenge and opportunities look big, it is okay to say yes to them. It is okay not having answers to everything, and no one does. You know that the solution must exist, and you can find the key.
ASK SUBCONSCIOUS MIND TO HELP.
Allow the subconscious mind to help. Induce lucid dreams by thinking of the problem- situation- barriers or enjoying success while you prepare to sleep.
Keep a pencil and copy at your bedside. Note down- whatever part of dreams you can remember. Check if there is a hint. Check if there is a dream that repeatedly occurs.
IN LIFE- EVERY DAY IS A FRESH START.
Start the day- as if it was another start of the year.
Think, what one thing different that you would do?
Think. How would you do something different?
How will you move forward, one step at a time, towards your final objective?
If there has been no progress in the first 15 days or even months, it does not mean that no progress will happen. Re-look, Re-evaluate, Re-think and repeat the process.
LIFE- WHAT YOU BECOME IS UP TO YOU.
That is the truth. No one else defines you better than you do. Your action- inaction, experiences- expectations, exposures and shielding – beliefs and fears- all define and brand you. Now, you can decide to take charge of the situation and work towards a desired outcome or perspective- or let the default option define your life’s journey. The decision was always yours and will always be yours. And the same holds for the questions and answers.
Happy New Year!
BLOG/01/2022
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