This is to clarify and protect myself from possible misunderstanding arising from this piece. I firmly positively support Women Empowerment. Changes in rules, laws and environment bring in responsibility of not misusing them. Some do misuse and spoil the situation. I also believe; life started as equality between the two gender. Few things led to the current skew. One of the major causes is the insecure male.
Psychoanalyst Karen Horney once wrote, “Is it not remarkable (we ask ourselves in amazement) when one considers. . . that so little recognition and attention are paid to the fact of men’s secret dread of women?” Actually, it’s not so remarkable. Human resistance to exposing deep self-doubt (our emotional entanglement in a sense of worthlessness) is exceedingly powerful. Man is afraid that woman might be his better self. He’s afraid because he doesn’t want to acknowledge his resonance with (or emotional attachment to) a profound self-doubt at the heart of his existence. His primitive instinct is to cover up this largely unconscious part in him by making women out to be the weaker sex and himself the proud agent of mighty exploits. Men are reluctant to share power with women or to encourage women’s empowerment to the degree that, on an inner level, we doubt our own value and power.
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We celebrate Internation Women Day in many ways. We release the newly rehashed list of already empowered women. Our celebration of their achievement shows we still fail to see them as half good – forget equality. On TV, predominantly male panels discuss issues about women empowerment and safety. The social media voices polarity of views. Some get trolled. The truth remains, a lot may have been done and intended, but the impact in real life has been negligible.
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Brand suffering from viral fame disease has started unleashing low-cost geo-centric activations with their award hungry agencies. The advertising gurus continue to exploit the opportunity and leverage it. Many are unhappy having missed career enhancing potential opportunity.
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According to some myopic vision males, women empowerment is destroying the very foundation of Indian society- the family unit. The idea of male child association with immortality and female child with burden is not only deep rooted but is amplified at every stage. This thinking will not change by mere statements and sporadic story telling. More than education of the girl child, it needs working with the parents. They have been living their beliefs and encouraging polarised views.
These men have no real objection to women empowerment. They are okay with it, if the women agree’s for a second-in-command role, keeps her hormone flaming devil body covered, plays within the four walls and keeps her ambition, passion and desires chained.
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Many literate, rational, logical supporters of women empowerment also accept being scared of the new environment; the overtly women friendly laws, acts, guidelines and rules.
They blame it for the early-to-court syndrome for feud and quarrels that were earlier resolved within the four walls. It bothers them. It is the case of family status, respect and honor. If the things did not work out later, the love affairs come with possible exploitation charges, Male bosses are hypersensitive while asking female professional for an efficient output or extra work. It cannot be denied. The fear that should not be there, exists.
The benefit of doubt favours women. It is a firm belief that a woman with children will not walk out of a marriage or press stigmatic charges, unless there were solid grounds for it. This itself is questionable. The threat and societal role reversal are amplified. Most men find this shifting gender balance uncomfortable.
I find it crazy, when the professor has to watch his language more than the student shouting slogans in the university. Everything can be tainted out of context? The fear of pseudo leaders waiting to create an issue out of nothing, is not a fragment of imagination.
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The new truth for males.
You are guilty till proven innocent.
The reputation, status and respect are highly susceptible to attack. Some of the new overtly biased rules and guidelines are being misused. The damage inflicted is usually permanent and devastating.
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I am not suggesting that women should silently suffer the injustice and cruelty in the name of tradition and honor. The skewed societal lens definitely needs a repair if not replacement. I hope that empowerment is not misunderstood and misused.
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Empowerment is an enhanced ability to face the challenges of life. It is about not being a victim to wrongs. It is about being positive and living a life full of love, care and respect. It is about independent living and not independent survival. It is not about being welcomed in the temple not forcefully entering it. It is not about banning porn, defining length of a skirt or asking questions about cleavage. It is about sensibilizing people and not necessarily riding their fear of punishment. It is not about saving the girl child because of fear but welcoming her in a world of equal opportunities.
Empowerment is a fight for power. Prefect balance does not exist. It is always work-in-progress. The inequality will be there. Stop seeing empowerment from the lens of equality and opportunities. See it from being what is deserving.
Empowerment should be capability enhancement and facilitation, making women capable of taking on any professional and personal challenges in life.
Change is impossible at a larger scale. You must be the change. Be the positive support. Women should take a pledge.
‘I will neither misuse nor be a party to misuse of the power I get because of the various new rules and acts of women empowerment. I will use them wherever justified’.
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Remember the two genders are not living in a vacuum. The male empowerment is essential for women empowerment to be a reality. They are scared. They have for centuries wrongly treated women. They know the tide is turning. And they know it takes generations before the shift happens.
With every positive change in gender equality, the survival instinct of weak males kicks in. They ask, why should only a male be held responsible and punished for adultery? What about temples where men are not allowed? How do we compensate for the lost childhood and comfort of mother care? Why only mother be the custodian of a growing child?
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The questions will remain. Some will be answered. Hopefully, most will know, which ones are to be ignored. If you want, join in and take the pledge. Be the change.
‘I will give equal freedom and expect the same level of responsibility from my daughter, what I expect from my son. I will ensure the women in the house have the same authority and say as the males. I will make my family more inclusive and liberated’.
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Sanjeev Kotnala with 28 years of corporate experience is the founder of Intradia World; a Brand, Marketing & Management Advisory. His focus area includes Ideation and Innovation; he also conducts specialized workshops like IDEAHarvest, Liberate and InNoWait. Email sanjeev@intradia.in tweet @s_kotnala web: www.intradia.in www.sanjeevkotnala.com.
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BLOG / 22/2017
