Letter to brand manager from a paranoid consumer

By | December 21, 2014

Dear Brand Manager

The year-end is near. The Third Quarter you call it and you are behind your targets. Nothing new. You are an experienced hand on this. You do have tricks up your sleeve to ensure you get your performance incentives. However, at what yield is debatable. You know you are losing your charm. You know there is something wrong with you. I thought it was my responsibility to point that out.

So what has changed? Nothing and everything. The years when I used to decide my future based on features, benefits and what you say the dead USP seem to be over. Now it is just about money, honey. You treat me as some underprivileged person. You hurt my ego and capabilities shouting the cheapest rates or you try being premium teasing me and hurting me again. So, if you wish to be treated like a commodity, who am I to blame.

Do not fault me at being nostalgic remembering the days when I was the sole focus of your life. You would get me to believe that is still true. However, I know otherwise. Those days were nice. I was wooed with differentiated messages sounding genuine and exciting. Ah, It will never be the same again!

Now I live in fear. You stalk me everywhere. If I look out for anything with the click of my fingers, I am immediately bombarded with messages that may no longer be relevant to me. I hope you know you are a jerk! Hope you understand the word. Why do you chase me until I have no option but to block you? You know how irritated that makes me. It is a date spoiled by over intrusive friends.

You do not know the meaning of privacy/ genuine option or the right to decide. Don’t you have mother- brother- sister- parents and friends as consumers and customers? Do other bullies like you not torture them? Do you fail to see their anguish? Have you been never chased by such suitors? Maybe you have a better shield of DND, status and exclusivity that a normal consumer like me fails to create.

You and your types forget that I am not accountable to you. I do not need to tell you why your emotionally charged offers do not make sense to me. I trusted you and you trusted ‘Conditions Apply’. I trusted you and you failed me by ‘Upto 50%’ sales. I trusted you and you only had few items to offer me in sale. The one that I liked were the new arrivals. Do you really think that I still am enticed by ‘New, Revised with XYPTO’?!. Grow up those were days when I was blinded by the love of brands and they were sexciting. I used to have orgasm at 15% sale and discount. It no longer stimulates me. The yellow and red bands are all over announcing it. It disappoints me when the exclusive sale is available to my maid and me at the same time. You have mixed up your objectives.

Trust broken, I read every word that you utter, not with awe and love but with fear. I fail to make sense of the long worded legal language document that you ask me to sign for our relationship. I feelI have no option. I am trapped. I know they are unilateral and loaded on your side. You were always that type. The only option for me is pray to God. I do that very time I sign them. May I never have the need to interpret them.

Earlier when I took you home, I knew where you came form. Whom should I talk to, in case you fail to deliver in your promises? Someone stood guarantee for your behaviour. Now I live in mortal fear. There are too many links. The equation is fragmented. It is all over. I meet you somewhere. I am wooed at different places. I am stalked many times. Everytime I have to speak to you, I find robotic in-sensitive voice recordings or some dumb representative on the phone representing you. All they do is misguide me. The communication and relationship that should be improving with time and technology is becoming frustrating and irritating. It is you, who decided to create these barriers between us.

So why complain when I use the social media to reach you and be heard.

Can we revive this relationship? Maybe but I doubt. You have created the wall around yourself. You need to take the first step. You have lost my trust and you will have to work hard to win it back.

Not yours anymore,

Paranoid Consumer –

This was first published in mxmindia.com on 17th Dec 2014  under the weekly column KOTMARTIAL

 

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