COWARD

By | 14/03/2015

    

58th EPISODE. Mumbai Late 2006. One of the well know niche channel was launching a new programme. If my memory serves me right, it was something to do with Pyramids and was held somewhere in Juhu side. I do remember it for the yellowish glowing pyramidal shaped objects that occupied centre stage and the good drinks they served.

It was on Friday and there was nothing much holding me back. I with few of my friends landed at the event. It was a sweet and short affair. After a really short AV presentation and even shorter speech the event started. I mean the drinks started. Invitees floated in slow motion aligning themselves with the groups they belonged.  Networkers, which were in minority those days stood like vultures waited at the edge for an opening to strike their potential prey.  Few as usual immediately had to rush to the loo and few for a smoke outside.

The circle I was part of, was made of people from print industry who have at sometime worked together. In those days I was a smoker.  In such events smokers end up smoking more than average. You can blame the drinks and the environment for it.  In some time, we too stepped out for smoke. Few of us carried our glasses to the designated smoking area.

We finished our smoke in 8-10 minutes and with it our drinks. Wanting to have a refill and join rest of the gang, we were walking back when I saw one of the most beautiful lady going towards the smoking zone. I thought I knew her very well was not too sure about it. What do you think happened next? I tugged on my friend and an understanding nod we were back for another smoke.

Smoke was just an excuse, we were there honestly admiring her. Ogling sounds so downmarket. Weaning a red sari with sleeve less blouse, bangles on her wrist she carried a small silver clutch purse. I noticed that as she elegantly took a cigarette box and tapped out a stick. She fumbled looking for a light.  It was apparent she did not had one. My friend a non-smoker obliged her with my lighter. I saw the face in that light. She smiled and I this time I was sure the smile was for me and we had met before.

She took the first drag very deep as if that meant a lot to her. With that purposeful first long drag she smiled but did not offer any

pic www.freetobacco.info

pic www.freetobacco.info

comment. My friends and I were ‘zero’ in the art of striking conversation. With nothing much to do, we moved back. While walking I turned around and found those lovely eyes boring at my back.

Faces like her haunts you, you can’t get it off your mind. She was back in the hall.  Tall, extremely beautiful and graceful in that low cut blouse. Strategically I took a position within the circle of friends. I could see her. She was smiling and was in conversation with a group of fairly senior members. Her name was still lost in memories.

It was getting late. The crowd was thinning out. I moved for another refill and found her at the counter. I got my refill and as I was walking I heard ‘smoke’. I was confused. I looked around to make sure I heard her right and it was me she was addressing. I was sure when I saw those eyes smiling. Those were one of the most beautiful but sad eyes I have ever seen. They were bland, lifeless and hypnotic as ever. I found myself being led to the smoking zone.

We were now alone. She said she was with ‘X’ (identity withheld) a senior industry member. I for a moment thought she was his wife. Not liking the thought I immediately discarded it. I knew I knew that face. I was still trying to probe my unwilling memory when she fired the next bouncer. She told me she was an Escort. ‘X’ was her regular client. She had a room in the same hotel. I thought she was drunk, but a look at her told me she was not high.  Oh the water for vodka trick. And bang the name flashed. Now clear. And a collages of images started dancing in my mind.

I remembered who she was. She said ‘I would not been here if the dance bars were still open. At the bars like many others I just danced.  Most of us were not in the trade.  Once bars closed, I moved to Bangalore and then Kolkata. And here I am back. I had no option but to get into this’.

She than asked ‘don’t you think Dance bars should not been closed’.  I had no answers and I never wanted to get into that discussion. I remembered having the same discussion many years back with much more bubbling and enchanting Tanya.

She realised we were now on the same page. She turned and this time deliberately took that drag really really long. Smilingly she bent forward and whispered  ‘I am in room 1115 booked for night by ‘X’ but it would be nice if you could come join me for some drinks. It will be nice talking to you.  You are most welcomes. ‘X’ will anyway take long. He is so dead anyway’.

A part of me wanted to join her.  Hear her complete story. I knew her story till the time bars were closed. A part of me wanted to know more and another part of me busy imagining possibilities. But I think it was not to be. Somewhere I wanted to get out. I have heard the last message loud and clear. And there was too much disturbance in that thought.

I walked in and saw ‘X’, he was tipsy but in control. The glass in his hand looked like it was refilled recently. I could see he was looking forward to some good time. I smiled. I saw it was 1115. Was it sheer coincidence or was there a message for me. I was on shaky wickets. Fortunately something pulled me back. I joined ‘X’ and insisted he had two more pegs before we all said goodnight. I was happy; there was no way now ‘X’ could do anything than just sleep.

I was on walking towards the lobby when my mobile vibrated. The SMS read. ‘I knew, u wud never come. Once a ditcher. Always a ditcher. Coward. Bye’.

I dialled and calmly said ‘Driver, bring the car’.

Till date whenever I see ‘X’, I see Tanya and I feel sad because yes I was a coward in lot many ways.

(True story where the names of characters need to be protected)

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